"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!"

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."

"Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?"

"If we take in our hand any volume; of divinity or school metaphysics, for instance; let us ask, Does it contain any abstract reasoning concerning quantity or number? No. Does it contain any experimental reasoning concerning matter of fact and existence? No. Commit it then to the flames: for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion."

"Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it."

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

"Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body."

"The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domesticated animal"

"This place makes Mayberry look like a think tank."

"Earthly minds, like mud walls, resist the strongest batteries; and though, perhaps, somethimes the force of a clear argument may make some impression, yet they nevertheless stand firm, keep out the enemy, truth, that would captivate or disturbe them."

"[F]or academic men to be happy, the universe would have to take shape. All of philosophy has no other goal: it is a matter of giving a frock coat to what is, a mathematical frock coat. On the other hand, affirming that the universe resembles nothing and is only formless amounts to saying that the universe is something like a spider or spit."

"What a glorious garden of wonders the lights of Broadway would be to anyone lucky enough to be unable to read."

"There are, however, people in this world who seldom pick up a newspaper, people who, when watching television, sneer in displeasure and change channels at the first glimpse of an anchorperson. While such willfully uninformed citizens are rare, emerging from seclusion only to serve on juries in trials of great national significance, they do exist."

"A reasonable probability is the only certainty."

"What happens depends on our way of observing it or on the fact that we observe it."

"My own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we *can* suppose."

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect."

"Do not commit your poems to pages alone, sing them I pray you."