"After several minutes of utterly dull conversation I began to think of her not as a woman but as a human, then not as a human but as an animal, then not as an animal but as a source of high-grade protein."

"It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years."

"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow."

"There is as much difference between us and ourselves as there is between us and others."

"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"

"Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee."

"Truth, springs from agrument amongst friends."

"Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

"Any impatient student of mathematics or science or engineering who is irked by having algebraic symbolism thrust upon him should try to get along without it for a week."

"Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it."

"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!"

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."

"Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?"

"If we take in our hand any volume; of divinity or school metaphysics, for instance; let us ask, Does it contain any abstract reasoning concerning quantity or number? No. Does it contain any experimental reasoning concerning matter of fact and existence? No. Commit it then to the flames: for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion."

"Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it."

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

"Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body."