"A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally."

"The woman whose behavior indicates that she will make a scene if she is told the truth asks to be deceived."

"Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinion of others."

"If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you educate a family."

"The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots."

"I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done."

"You should always believe what you read in the newspapers, for that makes them more interesting."

"Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it."

"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me."

"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant --- and let the air out of their tires."

"Whenever I get married I start buying Gourmet Magazine ."

"Family dinners are more often than not an ordeal of nervous indigestion, preceded by hidden resentment and ennui and accompanied by psychosomatic jitters."

"When you were quite a little boy, somebody ought to have said ``hush' just once."

"Daughters go into analysis hating their fathers and come out hating their mothers. They never come out hating themselves."

"Mothers are a biological necessity; fathers are a social invention."

"Mothers, food, love, and career, the four major guilt groups."

"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."

"Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title."