"Not only have women been successful in entering fields in which men are supposed to have a more natural aptitude, but they have created entirely new businesses."

"I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be inferior."

"Canadians are cold so much of the time that many of them leave instructions to be cremated."

"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head."

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

"I was born because my mother needed a fourth for meals."

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."

"Instant gratification is not soon enough."

"Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him."

"The natural superiority of women is a biological fact, and a socially acknowledged reality."

"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering."

"If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?"

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

"The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets."

"Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind."

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."

"Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it."