List of quotes from Steven Wright
"Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country."
by Steven Wright
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
by Steven Wright
"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second."
by Steven Wright
"I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes."
by Standup Comedy Routine Steven Wright
"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!"
by Standup Comedy Routine Steven Wright
"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."
by Steven Wright